Tears of a Soldier (Hero)

I watch as death pierces the light, the smell of blood so foul
It's full of spite but I know I do what I do for right
So young children have the right to sleep at night
Without guns and bomb to shake and wake their slumber

Yet the emotional plunder kills me quicker than a bullet to the head
And I've seen many die that way but as they lay dead
My love for them heals the scars placed on my fragile heart
And I start to cry the tears of a soldier

My eyes fill with tears mixed rage and blood
And i think of the reasons these men and woman innocent and young
Lay lifeless in the mud, the mud of our greed, shame, profanity, it causes them pain
And I, even I who defends their very right feel the blame on my shoulders weigh me down

And the pain is unbearable so I beg God to release me from the pain but he tells me
My child would I give you anymore than you can handle
But Lord I need you to help me understand though
That though I bleed for what is right why do I shed these tears at night, the tears of a soldier

But what is a soldier but one who follows orders and obeys commands?
Am I not more? Did I not do this on my own accord?
Who's to say that I do this for myself other than myself?
I am like them, living without wealth

I too have grown to despise the governments lies so it's no surprise that
Although they masked their pride they'd rather watch their people die then
Stand with integrity and reveal the deterioration on the inside instead of decorating the lie
To make it white, black or grey so vague you can't even say what it is out of fear of being wrong

So who am I? I wonder as a young boy whose family lay in pieces
Looked me in the eye with the same tears I cried and said thank you for what you do and who you are
And I then realized that I am no man who follows instructions from man, rather I obey the voice in my heart
So again I start to cry and in that child's eyes she sees not the tears of a soldier but the tears of his hero